I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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