Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize