omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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