your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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