The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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