it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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