I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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