hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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