yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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