some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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