you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize