he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Who died my cat blue again?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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