just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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