Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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