Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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