Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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