I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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