She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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