made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize