So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
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At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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