There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
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