We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
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I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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