im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
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So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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