i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize