also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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