She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
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I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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