I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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