My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
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My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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