five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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