can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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