Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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