she woke up with a sticky ear
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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