Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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