i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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