did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize