The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize