Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize