College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize