this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize