my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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