woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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