wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
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Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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