her vagine was all disorganized.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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