Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize