girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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