you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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