where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
wanna go halves on a baby?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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