You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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