I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize