Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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